


Temptation

by ohyelyah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: Abuse, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Lots of Angst, M/M, OC is a badass, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reggie is an emo boi, Resistance, Romance, Violence, like major slowburn, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29808534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohyelyah/pseuds/ohyelyah
Summary: MARAUDERS/HANDMAID'S TALE AUREGULUS BLACK/OCPenny Lane works for the Jezebel inside the newly constructed state, Salazar. She is forced to entertain the Commander's of the Lord's army and government in order to survive. One night, a young red head Handmaid approaches her with a letter that changes the course of Penny's life forever. With the knowledge of a resistance, The Order, Penny must decide if she wants to fight for the end of the Dark Lord's reign or learn to survive in her new world alone. Things only get more complicated when a young new driver of Commander Snape starts to take an interest in her and they begin to form a dangerous relationship that could risk both of their lives.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Regulus Black/Original Female Character(s), Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 5





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This story is set in a Handmaid's Tale style universe, which means there is HEAVY trigger warnings going forward. If you are not familiar with the world of Handmaid's Tale I suggest you read up on it to fully understand the topics that are going to be discussed and depicted in this story. While I will try before every chapter to put specific content warnings for scenes that will happen within those chapters, the underlying themes and content are over arching within the whole story. I understand the severity of these topics and while I don't want to sugarcoat this story, I want to be delicate when writing these things. Please send me feedback if you come across any issues on how i'm writing these stories of the women in this universe, or if I haven't specifically put a content warning when I should have. Thank you guys so much and I hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> TW: Rape, Ritual Rape, Abuse, PTSD, Violence, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Death, Female Oppression and Violence towards women

_**"What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more...everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence. Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: "You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine?" If this thought gained possession of you, it would change you as you are, or perhaps crush you." (Nietzsche, The Gay Science, 34)** _

_The summer breeze hits my face as I stumble through the tall grass chasing after small butterflies. The sun burns my skin, and I can feel the freckles already forming on my nose, a clear indication that summer is here. The blue butterfly, it almost looks like a fairy to me, floats just a few feet away from me and every time I feel like I've lost it in the grass it dives right back up almost taunting me, like it wants me to chase it. My bare feet feel the heat of the weeds and dirt as I refused to ever where shoes in our backyard always wanting to feel connected to the earth. A sunray from the sky peaks through the trees and blinds me so that I have to squint to find my blue fairy._

_"Bug, lunch is ready!" The melody of my mom's voice rings through my ears like church bells indicating playtime was over, and so was my hunt for the butterfly. If it wasn't for the grumbling of my stomach, I would have ignored my mother's words and taken off into the forest with my fairy. Maybe it would lead me to her friends, a small village of fairy's that I could live with._

_I run to our house and up the porch where my mother is already placing my lunch, a sandwich and some berries, at our patio table. Her long dirty brown hair has already started to lighten from the summer sun and it effortlessly falls in beautiful waves down her shoulders. She hums a tune as she picks me up and places me on her hip giving a quick kiss on the forehead. I giggle as her hair tickles my nose._

_"My little Bug, what would I ever do without you?"_

_I am reminded then that I could never run away to live in the forest with my blue fairy. Why would I when I have my own fairy right at home?_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~_

"Penny! Get up!" I groan into my pillow as another one hits me in the back of my head, "You've slept in again,"

"Ow, ok I'm up," I mumble out to the side as I peer up and see Sapphire looking down on me with her hand on her hips. Her dark curls bouncing off her shoulders and in her face.

"You know you sing in your sleep?" Sapphire says to me, "And you sound horrible. If you keep doing it, I'm switching beds with Emmy,"

Sapphire sleeps in the cot next to me in our communal room at Jezebel's, along with twenty other girls. Emmy sleeps on the opposite side of the room, far away from my off-tune sleep singing.

"Don't give me empty threats, I know you would regret that decision in two minutes when no one else will put up with your gossiping at late hours... _and your snoring_ ," I casually state as I get up from the small cot on the floor and stretch my limbs, my calf muscles sore from walking in my heels last night.

Sapphire dramatically gasps at me, "I do _not_ snore! You take that back right now"

"Take back that I'm a horrible singer"

"Fine"

"Fine"

We stare at each other in a stalemate until I break into a small smirk that turns into a giggle. Sapphire begins to laugh as well taking another pillow from my bed a throwing it at me again, "C'mon, I saved you a plate of breakfast downstairs,"

I skip over to her and give her a quick peck on the cheek as a thank you and made my way to the kitchens to grab my plate of food. The halls were always eerily quiet during the day, but I could still feel the ghosts of those from the night before haunting me with every turn as I make my way downstairs. Being at Jezebel for a year, I've grown used to the cold chill that always follows me around the abandoned hotel. I take the service elevator down to the kitchens where the Martha's made breakfast for the girls, quietly humming a song to myself. Music was the only thing that keeps me sane in these times, and with music outlawed—well the good music anyways—I've had to rely on memory and my own horrible singing voice, as Sapphire says, to keep music in my life. Unfortunately, over the years my memory has faltered, and I feel myself slowly losing songs...memories... _my mind_ , with each passing day.

Eva, one of the Martha's that works in the kitchen that I have grown close to within the year I've been here, was alone in the kitchen cleaning dishes as I quietly walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist and nuzzled my head into her neck.

"mmm, I love waking up and finding a hottie in the kitchen cooking me breakfast," I grumbled into her neck. She slightly jumped and then turned around and quickly pushed me off.

"Get off of me, you freak," she groaned and pointed her hand to the big fridge in the corner of the room, "Your plate is in the fridge. You're lucky I was down here once Sapphire left to get you. Some of the new girls tried to swipe it for themselves. I stopped them by threatening I'd chop their fingers off with my butcher knife,"

"My hero!" I dramatically clenched my chest as I spun around to head to the fridge to retrieve my breakfast. I opened the fridge and saw a small plate with some bacon, fruit and potatoes in it. I grabbed it along with a pitcher of orange juice and brought to the island in the center of the kitchen to eat so I can keep Eva company as she finishes her work. Unlike Sapphire, Eva enjoyed the quiet so I silently ate my breakfast while she washed dishes enjoying the small silence we would get before tonight.

After a few minutes go by, Eva glances over her shoulder and sees me take the full pitcher of juice to my mouth and drink from it. She groans and rolls her eyes, "Manners, please." I respond by chugging the whole thing, while making eye contact. She just huffs in response and turns herself around now fully facing me and leaning against the counter folding her arms over her chest.

"I hear Aunt Dolores is coming to visit sometime this week," She says. I choke on my orange juice.

"Eva...I ask this because you are my friend. Just kill me now. Stuff me in the cooler, let me freeze to death. That would be less painful than having to deal with Aunt Dolores,"

"Penny...I'm saying this because you are my friend. I am not dealing with that bitch alone, so suck it up," Eva replies curtly. I just groan back in response and push my plate away suddenly losing my appetite.

"You don't know which day she's coming?" I ask. She just shakes her head, "No. Just overheard some other Aunts saying it would be this week. So, maybe you should mind your manners for a couple days,"

I raise my hands in surrender. Eva's right, the wrath of Aunt Dolores is not something you want to be the target of. Trust me, I would know.

"How's Sapphire doing, by the way? When she was down here this morning, she was coughing up a storm," Eva said, changing the subject thankfully.

"Good as she can be," I replied walking to the trash and dumping my leftovers in it then taking my dishes to the sink to wash them myself, placing them in the drying rack after.

When I arrived at Jezebel, Sapphire took me under her wing and showed me the ropes. She was only here a couple months before me but was quickly isolated by the other girls given her condition. Sapphire was brought back from the colonies, her _redemption_ and _salvation_ , was giving her life to the Jezebel. Either that or rot away in the colonies. She chose us. Even though she only spent a few months out there, the effect was apparent. Her skin had moles and lesions all over. She lost a few molars in her mouth, and the cough was a never-ending reminder of her life out there as an un-woman. Some days the cough was bearable, the other days she was bed ridden. Even though the Aunts that worked Jezebel chastised her for not working those nights, it was bad for business to have her on the floor coughing up a lung on a high-ranking Commander. Luckily, the one thing keeping her here was on the good nights she could work; she was a lively and charming socialite always keeping those same Commander's entertained all night long...and keeping them coming back for more.

While the other girls feared being near her, as if they would get the same illness she carried, I didn't care about that. I was already in Hell, nothing mattered at this point. Also, she was the only one that made me crack a smile or laugh when I first arrived and for that I'm forever indebted.

"I have to head off now. Need to go to the store before tonight. Commander Snape is coming, and you know how picky he is about his food and drinks," Eva said wiping her hands on her apron. I did know how Commander Snape was. After all, I was his favorite Jezebel.

I was his favorite, just now in the way many other Jezebels were favored by the other Commanders. We were told when we entered this building that we were nothing more than a distraction to these men. These men have sinned under the Lord, but we will take the brute of it. We will carry it, and for that we are forever damned. These things are repeated to us daily by the Aunts that work here to try and dehumanize us as much as possible. If we don't see ourselves as humans, why would we care what happens to us behind the doors of the hotel? Many men come in here looking for a quick fuck, or a way to get out those naughty kinks that their wives would never allow in the bedroom. And we let them. We are nothing but flesh and bone to them. A nice warm body and pussy to get them off. At least most of them.

Then there are the ones like Commander Snape. I met him my first month working at Jezebel. I've been in survival mode, with Sapphire always beside me during shifts and at night to guide and comfort me. I expected the usual from him; small talk then an invitation to a private room to do whatever he needs. Instead, he just wanted to talk. He allowed me to speak and think like an intellectual for the first time in forever. At first, I thought it was a set up and I was being led right into a trap where Aunt Dolores would be waiting with a noose for my neck. Over time I realized that he was just a lonely man that wanted company. His colleagues wouldn't dare talk about philosophy, films, music and science like we do, especially if it went against anything The Lord teaches us. His wife is just as brainwashed as the rest of them and refuses to even indulge in anything conversational that isn't from the Reading of The Lord. So, he sought out Jezebel in desperation, came across me, and it seemed he found a liking. I was forever grateful whenever he came around, given his status in The Lord's army he had more than enough money to rent me out for the entire night he was here, which meant I didn't have to give myself to any one for at least one day.

"He's coming tonight? Praise be. last time he was here he let me help with a crossword puzzle he was doing. Maybe he will bring it and let me finish," I said starting to walk out the kitchen and back upstairs to find Sapphire. Before I could Eva grabbed my wrist tightly and spun me around.

"Penny. You need to be careful what you do and what you say. A crossword puzzle? Are you crazy? Reading and writing right in front of the Aunts? You'll be shipped to the colonies before you can take off your heels," Evan whispered loudly to me glancing around nervously as if someone was already listening in on us. I yanked my arm from her and rolled my eyes.

"Calm down, Eva. Snape is one, if not the most, trusted advisor to The Lord. No one would mess with him and his affairs. Trust me, I see the way the other Commanders look at him. They fear him. They don't even look him in the eye let alone see what he's up to with his whore," The last words came out harsh and bitter on my tongue and it took Eva by surprise making her step back from me.

"Just be careful," Was all she said to me before she turned around and made her way out of the kitchen. I pinched me nose in frustration and headed back upstairs. I know Eva means well. She sees me as a younger sister and she has been overprotective of me since I got here, but I know how to handle myself. I've mastered Jezebel now, more than Sapphire. I know how these men work, and I bend them to my will. I'm always two steps ahead of them to survive. Commander Snape and our crossword puzzle dates are the last thing anyone should be worried about.

While my conversation with Eva ended abruptly, I distracted myself by taking a long shower in our communal bathroom and then promptly finding Sapphire in hopes she had some stories from the previous night that would keep me pre-occupied before tonight. I found her by the windowsill in our room sitting on it talking to Emmy who stood across from her laughing at something Sapphire must have said. Along with Sapphire and Eva, Emmy was someone I had grown a close bond with since I've been here at Jezebel. I joined them and we talked about the night before and anything else in between to pass the time. These story times never lasted long though because after a while the conversation always led to our lives from Before, and we established early on in our friendship to never cross the threshold. It is better to forget our past lives. Reliving the past only makes it worse.

After catching up with Emmy and Sapphire, I decided to take a nap until dinner time. Call it depression or the fact that I am required to work all night until sunrise, but I craved sleep like it was my heroin. The freest I can be is inside my own mind, and sleeping is the best way I can escape this prison cell of a hotel. Most Jezebels that work here align with my beliefs and around mid-afternoon the large room that us twenty or so girls sleep in becomes deadly silent. As if we all decided to take a bottle of pills and go peacefully into the night. If we were offered that chance, many wouldn't hesitate but unfortunately, we all wake up once the sun goes to sleep and that is when our day finally begins.

I awoke to girls starting to dress and put their heels on before making their way to the kitchens for dinner. I rolled over and saw Sapphire was still dead asleep. I lobbed my pillow over smacking her in the face, which she yelled out after it hit her. Her eyes open and she's glaring at me.

"That's for this morning," I simply stated before getting myself out of bed and kneeling down under my cot to grab my outfit for tonight. Outfit isn't the right word for this. A costume. My costume consisted of a maroon lace- lingerie bodysuit that had a deep plunge in the front to show off my chest. Over top, I wore a matching mesh robe that fell to floor. The sleeves and hem were stitched with fur. Once I put the pieces on, I tied my robe in the front and grabbed my tall black stiletto heels from the boot of my bed and winced as I put them on. No matter how much I wear these fuckers, the blisters on my heels never seem to go away. When I was finished putting on my attire, I turned to look at Sapphire who had done just the same. True to her name, her ensemble was all a deep blue that accentuated her deep skin tone and mesmerizing golden eyes. After Eva's concern this morning, I watched Sapphire closely and noticed her heaving breathing and need to sit on her bed longer than usual after putting her clothes and shoes on, as if doing that small task was the equivalent to running a marathon.

"You good for tonight, Sapph?" I questioned. She quickly turned up to face me, still sitting on her bed.

"I'm fine, Penny. Don't worry about me," She bit back harshly. She always hated when her illness was brought up in anyway. She hated being reminded she was weak. I held my hands up as a white flag not wanting to fight with her before a shift. She smiled faintly at me, her way of apologizing, and ran her fingers through her fair fluffing it up for more volume. She took one deep breath, as if preparing herself for the hours ahead, and rose from her bed and grabbed my elbow to walk with her to dinner. While walking down the hallway to the elevator to take us to the kitchens another Jezebel, Poppy, came running after us.

"Penny! Aunt Carrow wants to speak with you," She said out of breath, "Immediately,"

My blood went cold at the request, but I tried to hide it. Sapphire gave me a quick squeeze on the arm promising me that she'll wait for me downstairs before she heads to the lobby. I just simply nodded back as my mouth was too dry to speak any words.

As I walked down the hall towards Carrow's office all I was thinking about was my conversation with Eva this morning. _Did she hear? Did another Martha hear and tell on me?_ I tried to shake the nerves out as much as I could before entering, not wanted to show fear in front of her. Carrow feeds off of it and she didn't need any more power over me than she already has.

I took one more deep breath and knocked twice on the door.

"Come in!"

"Blessed be the fruit," I recited with my head hung low as I approached her desk.

"May the Lord open," She said back, "Please sit"

I obeyed and sat in front of her. Her elbows were propped up on the desk as her face rested upon her hands as she studied me carefully not responding for some time. Carrow enjoyed making the Jezebels squirm, and her silence was doing just that. It took every muscle in me to stop myself from shuddering in front of her.

Carrow was in charge of Jezebel Hotel, there were a few other Aunts that helped watch over us but Carrow called the shots. She was vicious, cruel, and never missed the opportunity to remind us what we are in this society. Nothing but a sinful whore.

"I've been informed Commander Snape is making a visit once again tonight," She finally spoke, "He's requested you for the night,"

"Yes, ma'am," I simply said not wanting to say anymore in fear she would retaliate.

"He has taken a liking to you, has he not?" I couldn't tell if this was a rhetorical question or not but her side glance and silence told me I was to answer.

"Yes ma'am, he seems to enjoy my company,"

"Company...ha! Well, that is one way to put it," I flinched at her words, "You do understand the importance of Commander Snape,"

"Of course, ma'am" I stuttered, "I am grateful for him and his time,"

Carrow cocked her head to the side studying me silently. I felt under a microscope and the longer she looked the more likely the lies would come to the surface and reveal themselves.

"You should be so lucky to be in his presence. For what he has done with The Lord and for our beautiful country, Salazar, it amazes me he would waste his time with such filth," she spat out at me. All I could do was clench my jaw and sit in silence.

"But who am I to judge? Only The Lord does," she leans back in her chair eyes still focused on me, "I brought you in here today to remind you of the great honor you have of...what do you say...keeping Commander Snape 'company.' He gives a lot of money for your services. That money goes straight back into Jezebel. It feeds you and the rest of the whores. If it wasn't for him and the rest of the Commander's generous tips, we wouldn't be here and you would be off in the colonies somewhere, I presume. Or in a shallow grave,"

My breath catches sharply in my mouth. While Jezebel is frequented by government officials, it is still illegal in Salazar, which means we run on tips and "donations" from them to stay in business. Carrow's words are harsh, but true. Without Jezebels all of the girls working would be dead. I narrow my eyes at her.

"I understand, Aunt Carrow. Don't worry, I make sure every customer is satisfied with their experience," I bite back at her trying to reign in my anger. All she does is smirk at me. She stays silent again for a few minutes, enjoying watching me slowly lose control of my temper. Finally, she stands up and waves her arm at me, shooing me away like some animal.

"That is all, you may go now. Be on your best behavior tonight, Penny." She tells me her gaze penetrating me.

I simply nod, "Praise be," I softly say and swiftly walk out the door. I pace quickly around the corner breathing heavily and I lean against the wall for support. I clench my chest, feeling my heartbeat pound heavy against my body. I take deep breathes trying to calm myself. I run my fingers with my hair and finally slap myself across my face, "Get your shit together" I quietly say to myself and then walk to the kitchens hoping to still catch Sapphire before the shift starts.

I take the elevator down and once it opens; I spot Eva in the kitchen cooking food for tonight and the guests. She stands quietly at the stove stirring something in a pot. It is too quiet for Sapphire to be in here, so I assumed she was forced away with the rest of the girls by the Aunts to make their way up to the lobby as guests were probably arriving at any moment now.

"Eva, my sunshine, my muse! I'm begging you, please make me some of your famous Carbonara, I'm in desperate need of it. If I have steak and potatoes one more time, I'll stick my—oh shit" I yell loudly to her as I round the corner, but the rest of my sentence is caught in my throat as I stop dead in my tracks. Eleanor turns around quickly wide eyed as well, mouth open.

I assumed we were alone again, but here I stand proven wrong. At the end of the kitchen, near the door that leads to the lobby was a man. He was dressed in all black, his trousers and button up tailored to perfection on his tall and lanky build. He had his hands behind his back in stance that could only be described like how a soldier would stand. He curly black hair fell gracefully out of his head and stopped just below his ear like a crown that framed his aristocratic, _beautiful_ , face. His face, while incredibly handsome, showed almost no emotion except for one quirked eyebrow directed at me or more so the words I had said as I entered the room.

At a loss for words for the second time today, Eva coughed at the uncomfortable silence and tried to fill it, "Blessed be the fruit,"

"May the Lord open," I recited back my eyes still focused on the mystery man. His attire and given the fact he was in the kitchen and not in the lobby, he was definitely not a Commander and most likely a driver or security for one of the men inside.

"This is Commander Snape's new driver. The Commander is already in the room for the night, since you were busy with Aunt Carrow. He instructed Regulus take you up to him once you were done," Eva explained the situation to me as it seemed like the man, _Regulus_ , wasn't the talking type. I finally turned around to look at her and simply nodded. I then turned back to the quiet shadow in the corner of the room.

"Well, we don't want to keep the Commander waiting, I can head up now," I said to him and all he responded with was a curt nod and with a turn of his heel he was headed out the door to the main lobby, most likely to take the guest elevator's instead of the service to get to Snape's private room. I didn't have much time to think before I realized he wasn't stopping for me so all I could do was mouth a quick _"what the fuck"_ to Eva before I chased after the young man.

I opened the door from the kitchen to the lobby and I'm hit with the smell of cigars, booze and men's cologne. The Commanders have already started trickling in making their way to the Jezebels that have scattered around at tables or the bar waiting for one of them to choose them as their prey for the night. I move quickly around them trying to catch up with Snape's driver. I finally catch up to him only because he is forced to wait for the elevator to take us up to the room. He doesn't even turn around as I walk up to stand next to him as we wait.

His presence is unnerving to say the least. He looks ahead in a blank stare, standing in the same soldier-like stance like in the kitchen. I quickly glance at him and standing so close I can see how young he actually is. He only had to be my age or a few years older. Maybe that is the reason for is cold demeanor, trying to be intimidating and prove himself as worthy in the eyes of the Lord and his top Commander.

There's a quiet _ding_ and the elevator doors slide open granting us access into the small compartment.

 _Great_. I love long awkward elevator rides with weird men. We walk in and he presses the button for the floor and moves back into his stance. I play with the hem of my sleeves as a distraction, so I don't end up staring at the young man.

After what felt like forever, the elevator finally stopped at the 10th floor, letting both me and Snape's driver out. Just like before, he doesn't wait for me and starts walking straight out the elevator and down the hall to Snape's room. I lightly jog to catch up, rolling my eyes at the back of his head. He stops abruptly that I didn't seem coming, so I run right into his back.

"Shit, sorry," I say out of reflex then immediately curse myself for swearing Infront of him. He just looks down at me and back at the door and knocks twice on the door ignoring my outburst, and apology.

_Is this guy a mute or something?_

The door swings open and Commander Snape stands in front of us. He's already taken off his jacket and tie, the top few buttons of his emerald green shirt were open. His long black hair was pushed back from his face and behind his ears and his long-crooked nose was pointed down towards me as I stand in front of him.

"Miss Penny Lane," Snape drawls at me with a hint of mischief in his eyes. I return the gaze with a smirk and curtsy to him.

"Commander" I say back. He rolls his eyes and pushes the door fully open so I can enter. In the room I spot the small dining table with a card deck on it, a half-played game of Solitaire deserted. I skip over there to continue the game taking a swig of the glass of champagne that was also on the table not touched. Snape only drinks scotch so I know the bottle was ordered for me.

"Thank you, Regulus. I'll be down later," Snape nods to his driver as a signal to leave.

"She hasn't eaten dinner, sir" I whip my head around at the sound of his voice. The first time I've heard it and his words were about _me_. I gape at him standing in the doorway, not glancing at me again and only at Snape. Snape turns towards me and raises his eyebrow. I cough uncomfortably,

"I've been in a meeting with Carrow, I didn't have time," I say, only directing my words to Snape and not Regulus. _Two can play at this game_. Snape simply nods to me and then turns back to Regulus.

"Have one of the Martha's make her a plate of food...what is your favorite dish again, Penny? Oh yes, Carbonara. Have it brought up to the room when it's finished," Snape orders Regulus. Regulus nods to him in obedience and then turns back down the hall. Snape closes the door and comes to sit with me at the table.

"He seems friendly," I finally say not looking up from my game of Solitaire. Snape grunts, the closest I will get to him laughing, in response.

"How is Carrow?" Snape responds. That gets me to look up.

"You know, the usual... _you're a whore know your place_ blah blah blah," I say as a take another sip of my champagne, "She knows the importance of you here and wants to make sure I'm on my best behavior,"

"If only she could see you now," Snape says.

"if only," I respond with a smirk.

"Alright, let me teach you how to play Rummy," Snape finally says snatching my game of Solitaire and he begins shuffling the cards. I let him teach me and we begin to play, while I drink champagne and Snape sips on his glass of Scotch, he finally poured for himself. We play until there is two knocks on the door.

Snape gets up from the table and opens the door. I lean over to find Regulus their once again, the same distant stare but now in his hand is a plate of Eva's famous Carbonara. I hear my stomach grumble at response to the sight of food not realizing how hungry I actually was.

"Thank you, Regulus, you may go," was all Snape said before he closed the door on him and brought my plate of food to me.

"Lord bless Eva," I say as he places the bowl of pasta in front of me. There was already a fork in the bowl, and I take no times picking it up and begin to scarf my face with the pasta.

"You are supposed to say Grace before eating," Snape notes jokingly at me. I glare up and put my fork down and dramatically put my palms together in the front of my chest and look up at the ceiling.

"Dear Lord, bless me for this food. Who knew a sinful slut like me could be graced with food as amazing as this? Amen," I loudly shot then glance back at Snape who looks like he is trying very hard to hold in his smile.

"Don't talk with your mouth full," was all Snape said in response. I just roll my eyes and continue to finish my food while he sips on his Scotch. Just before I was done, the phone inside the room starts to ring. I look up in confusion to see Snape just as confused. Who would be calling the room?

He stands up and picks it up, "Commander Snape,"

He listened intently to whoever was on the line and I see his jaw clench at whatever news he was being told, "Ok, tell him I'll be down shortly," He slams the phone down on the receiver.

"I've been requested to join Commander LeStrange for a drink at the bar. You can stay up here or head to the kitchen if you would like. I hopefully won't be too long," Snape says. I shiver at the name LeStrange.

LeStrange had a reputation here at Jezebel. His cruel and unnerving attitude towards the girls was some of nightmares. Let's just say he loved to take his anger and frustration out on us.

"I'll go see if Eva needs help in the kitchen, have someone fetch me when you are done with Lestrange," I say, "Good luck,"

He grunts, his way of saying thank you, and we walk out of the hotel room together. We separate in the hallway, him taking the guest elevator while I opted to take the service elevator straight to the kitchens, not wanting to run into any other Commanders for the night.

I walk into the kitchen and found Eva cleaning some dishes and in the corner of the island stood Regulus eating some food that Eva must have prepared for him. We make eye contact and I immediately look away. Eva turns around from the sink and smiles at me.

"How is Commander Snape?" She questions.

"Fine, he was requested to join Commander LeStrange for a drink downstairs so I just came down here to pass the time while he's gone," I say as I come up and begin to help her with the dirty dishes. I choose to just ignore Regulus' presence, just like he seems to ignore mine.

Eva and I make small talk while finishing the dishes, Regulus staying silent while finishing his food. After we were done Eva tells me she has to go to storage to get more potatoes for tonight and I try to subtly tell her with my eyes to not leave me with that creepy man. Either she didn't pick up my hints, or she just ignored, because she still left saying she'll only be a couple of minutes.

I turn around from the sink and my gaze turns towards Regulus, who is gazing in his empty plate of food as if he is forcing himself to look there instead of me. I scoff quietly to myself and push myself off the counter and walk to the opposite side of the island where he stands.

"Penny Lane, like the movie or song?"

I stop dead in my tracks and slowly turn my head to Regulus, whose glance has now lifted and was staring at me. His cold grey eyes pierce me, and I feel my breath stop short in my chest.

He cocks his head to the side waiting for my response. I realize I've been staring at him in silence for who knows how long.

"The movie," I say back, "It was my favorite growing up,"

He closes his eyes and nods in approval, "Mine too. I thought one day a lovable band would pick me up from the side of the road and I could travel with them on tour forever,"

I smile at him trying to picture this young man, even younger, wanting to be so free and careless. He returns my smile with a small smirk, his eyes creasing a little. I open my mouth to speak but Eva comes in carry a bag full of potatoes and Regulus puts his soldier mask back on, the distant stare coming back as he leaves the island to go help Eva carry the potatoes.

"Thank you," Eva says breathlessly. I simply stand in the same place trying to figure out what just occurred. The kitchen door from the lobby opens up and the bartender, Gideon, yells at me that Snape is done with his drinks and to meet him back up in the room.

I nod at him and then make my way to the service elevator to head back upstairs. By doing that I have to pass by Regulus whose glancing at me as our shoulders brush against each other. I flinch away and hurry to the elevator. Once the doors our close, I lean against the wall for support and let my head rest against the wall.

The elevator opens up and as I'm walking to Snape's room another door opens and my shoulder is suddenly grabbed, and I'm forced to spin around to see a young woman that I don't recognize as a Jezebel standing in front of me frantic and wide eyed.

"Sapphire?" she says to me. I push her hand off my shoulder, thoroughly confused at this situation.

"No, she's probably downstairs at the bar. Who are you?" suddenly feeling defensive of my friend.

"I was told to give this to her. Please you have to help me," She pulls out a letter from her pocket and starts to give it to me, "I was told she can help get this out to The Order,"

I gasp and then push her into the wall in front of me, "Are you out of your mind? Commanders are crawling around every corner here at night. Do _not_ say that name here,"

She swallows heavily, but the young woman is still wide eyed with fear but also determination. Her wild red hair is now disheveled, and some pieces hang in her face. She looks crazed and on a mission. She narrows her eyes at me finally and pushes me off her.

"Listen, I was told to bring this to Sapphire. All you have to do is just give the letter to her. I have to get back to the room, my Commander is coming up any minute and I was told not to leave the room. So just take the fucking letter, ok?" She forces the letter into my hands as I eye her up and down. She must be a Commander's Handmaid that he has taken a liking too. It's rare, but sometimes a Handmaid will venture into the Jezebel on the arm of their Commander for a night.

As much as I do not want to be associated with The Order, I have no other choice because the girl is already walking away from me before I could process it. She turns her head and glances over her shoulder once more before entering the room, "Please help me,"

_Sapphire fucking owes me._

I'm left alone with this letter in the hallway and as I flip it around, I notice cursive handwriting and a name written on it.

 _James Potter_.

What the fuck did I just get myself into? 


	2. Chapter Two

_“Ok, so the Commanders usually start arriving once the sun goes down, we are expected to already be on the floor before then. Never want to keep a Commander waiting.” Sapphire was twisting her head over her shoulder as she walked in front of me as she gave me a tour of Jezebel. I tried to keep up with her as I wobbled in my new heels I was given since arriving. I haven’t walked in heels in forever, and it shows._

_“This bodysuit is super uncomfortable,” I say in response itching and trying to pull my bodysuit in any sort of way to relieve myself._

_“Yeah, its old. All of our outfits are hand-me-downs. They don’t make stuff like this anymore in Salazar,” She responds. I stop walking._

_“Wait are you telling me someone wore this skimpy little bodysuit before me?” I grimace. She sees me stop and stops as well turning around fully to face me. She just rolls her eyes at me._

_“Chill, babe. The Martha’s washed it. Now come on,” She pulls my arm making me follow her to the main lobby and bar. I gape looking around at the abandoned hotel. Most of the hotel was run and worn down, except for the main floor and certain other floors that housed the rooms that could be rented out by the Commanders._

_The main lobby hosted an array of tables, some placed in corners with drapes around them for more privacy as well as a bar at the end of the room that had a wall full of outlawed liquor lining it. The one boy that worked at Jezebel, Sapphire told me his name was Gideon, worked behind the bar during the nights._

_“Now, some rules still apply here at Jezebel, one of them being no drinking the alcohol. If the Aunts catch you, you get punished and Carrow is not kind,” Sapphire points to me as a warning. We’ve now stood rested at the bar, while Gideon stands behind it, washing glasses before the shift starts._

_“What if a Commander asks you to drink?” I ask._

_“That’s the Catch-22. We are told to do anything and everything that the Commanders want us to do. So, if he asks you do it. Just be prepared to get a cattle rod in the stomach the next morning from Aunt Carrow,” she tells me. I rub my side at the thought of the cattle prod hitting me, memories of the pain shoot in my head like the shot of electricity that blasts through the weapon._

_I zone out, trying to control my breathing and trying to get rid of Aunt Dolores’s smug face smiling down at me wishes me luck at my “new home.”_

_“Given your past, I think you will have the experience needed to thrive at Jezebel don’t you think, dear?” she sneered down at me._

_“Hey,” Sapphire snaps her fingers in my face, “Lost you there for a second,”_

_“Sorry,” I say, “Just preparing myself for tonight,”_

_She looks at me with a pained expression. I immediately close off and feel annoyed. I didn’t need anyone’s pity. We both got stuck here, wallowing in our self-pity does nothing for us._

_“Listen. This place takes some getting you used to, but you’ll get there. We all do,” She says as some sort of way to comfort me. I give her a small smile in response and a nod hoping she will let the topic drop._

_Luckily, she takes the hint and tells me that the Martha’s have made us dinner in the kitchen and to grab some before it’s all gone. She starts walking away from me when I yell at her from behind, still leaning up against the bar._

_“What happened to the girl who wore this before me?”_

_“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to.”_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Given the amount of fabric I _don’t_ have on my body, it was a struggle trying to find a hiding spot for the letter before I walked back into Snape’s room. Snape never touched me like that so stuffing it in the back of bodysuit, while uncomfortable, was a good enough place to hide it until I headed down to the dorms for the night. Even though Snape let _many_ things slide with me like drinking alcohol, reading and writing, something tells me that holding a letter from a Handmaid addressed to someone a part of the Order of the Phoenix, the resistance that is trying to take down Salazar and the Lord, would be crossing a line.

I mumble a lot of curses under my breath as I walk down the hallway, most of them directed at Sapphire. When Salazar overran my country and I was forced into this life, I promised myself to not have hope. Just survive.

Surviving meant not getting associated with the Order. I’ve seen what Salazar does to the opposition. I’ve had to walk by the wall in the main square where Marthas, Handmaids and other resistance spies hanged for us all to see. Their rotting corpses is a smell that will never leave me. When I have nightmares, I wake up and swear I can still smell the decaying flesh like they were laying right next to me on my cot.

I break rules. Hell, my status in Salazar is illegal anyways. But I know the limit. I survive for myself, cause the only person I have at the end of the day is myself. I do what’s best for me. I don’t associate with the resistance because all that will get me is a bullet in the head. Another example for others to be scared into submission.

_I should just burn this letter and forget it ever happened._

That’s what I should do. But something stops me from tearing the letter to shreds and burning it up. It was the Handmaid’s determination. The fire in her eyes that matched the color of her hair. I remember when I still had that look, when I still believed I could make a difference. I envied it.

I’m pulled away from my thoughts when I realize I’ve reached Snape’s room. I don’t how long I’ve been standing in front of the door lost in my own thoughts. I knock twice. I hear the sound of someone stumbling around trying to reach the door. Snape flings it open and he stands there glossy eyed, hair that was neatly combed back was now wild, his shirt untucked from his pants and as I step into the room, I see the havoc he’s wrecked. There’s a broken lamp smashed on the floor like he threw it against the wall. The table, which only a couple of hours before he was teaching me card games at, was kicked to the side along with a chair. The full bottle of scotch was almost empty.

“I’m assuming your meeting with LeStrange didn’t go well…” I say cautiously, wondering just what happened in here.

“You’re late,” Snape responds curtly, his words slurring together. He’s still swaying by the door as he takes another sip of his drink.

“Sorry, ran into a friend. Want to tell me what this is all about,” I gesture around the hotel room.

“Don’t stick your nose in business it shouldn’t be in,”

“It is my business since I am your ‘guest’ for the night, and you look like you are on the verge a full breakdown. What did LeStrange say?” Snape eyes me silently. His stare becomes suffocating and I feel myself shrink and backing away from him involuntarily until the back of my knees hit the bed and I fall backwards. I sit at the edge and he takes two big strides towards me, his face in a scowl and his eyes, while still glossy from the liquor in his veins, were filled with rage.

“I think I’ve been too lenient on you and our time together,” He hisses out at me, “Don’t forget your place in this world. To please _me._ To please the righteous men. You think because I let you drink champagne, and we talk about philosophers sometimes I am your ally or friend? I am nothing to you. Just like you are nothing to me. Remember that before you talk back to me again.”

I sit there staring up at him speechless. My heart beating so loud he must hear it.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” was all I could choke out to him. He steps back and I see something brief flash in his eyes, almost like shame. He turns around, not facing me, but I see that he finishes the last of his Scotch and throws it against the wall, it shatters into thousands of little pieces. I flinch at his action. He finally turns his head to the side so I can see the side profile of his face.

“We are done for the night. Good night, Penny Lane,” he refuses to look me in the eye. I force myself to stand and walk by him, slowly like I’m walking past a sleeping tiger that I don’t want to wake up. As I reach the door, I turn around to face him and look him dead in the eyes.

“Have a blessed night, Commander Snape,” Then I turn and walk out the door. Once the door slams behind me I walk down the hall, my breath staggering and my eyes watering with tears.

_I’ve gotten too comfortable._

My relationship with Snape has made me too placid. _These men are not your friends._ Snape enjoyed having power over me. That’s why he gave me the tiny freedoms at Jezebel with him behind the drapes of a private table or behind the doors of a hotel room. He gave me them because he enjoyed taking them away.

I took the elevators down to the dorm level and as I got off, I ran into Poppy.

“Have you’ve seen Sapphire?” I ask her.

“Yeah, she just got back from the floor, she’s in bed now,” She gestured to the big room, I assume it was a conference hall when the hotel was in business before Salazar. I thanked her and pushed my way through the other Jezebel’s that just got done with their shift for the night. When I walked into the room and I found Sapphire sitting on her bed and the end of the hall, taking off her heels and massaging the balls of her feet. I march up to her and when I get in front of her, I bend down to her level as I take the envelope from the back of bodysuit and shove it into her lap.

“You and I need to have a little talk,” I say to her as she looks at me confused then looks down at the letter. She flips it over and reads the name.

“Fuck,” she curses silently and then looks up at me.

“I’ve had a rough night, so I’m going to need to start explaining to me why a fucking _handmaid_ corners me in a hallway begging me to find you and leaves me with this letter to give to the Order,” I whisper harshly at her my eyes darting back and forth to make sure no one is eavesdropping on our conversation, “What the fuck do you think you are doing, Sapphire? Do you have a death wish?”

Her surprised face now turns into anger as well. She points a finger to my chest and pushes me hard, so I back up a little, “This is why I don’t tell you things, because I knew this was how you were going to react.”

“Of course, this how I would react! If that girl ran into anyone else, if we were caught by one of the Aunts, we all would be on The Wall by sunrise.”

“Well, no one caught you so stop worrying about that”

“No one has caught us… _yet._ Jesus, Sapphire how long have you’ve been doing this? Why are you getting yourself mixed up with the resistance?” I rub my hands over my face in frustration. Sapphire looks around the room once more and then back to me.

“Not here. Roof.” She stands up slides on her slippers and walks past me and out the door, knowing I would follow her. The roof of the hotel was a place Sapphire and I would go after long nights to look at the stars and then watch the sunrise. Sapphire, Emmy and I seem to be the only ones who know about it or use it. I’m assuming the rest of girls never thought to go up that high in the building or they just assumed the door to the roof was locked. Sapphire was the one who found it and invited me up there after a bad night on the floor. She didn’t ask about the details of the night or anything about my life Before. She just took me up there and offered me a cigarette that was hidden underneath a cement block on the roof. We sat in silence, chain smoking as the sun rose in the sky. That’s when I knew I could trust her. A couple months later we let Emmy come with us. Right now, Emmy is curled up already asleep on her cot. I didn’t want her involved in this anyway. Or maybe she is and I’m the only one in the dark.

After taking off my own heels and replacing them with my slippers, I make my way of the dorms to follow Sapphire up the stairs to the roof. We couldn’t use the elevator when it was still busy, the Aunts could stop us, or other girls would see us. So, we started the trek up the flight of stairs to the roof, the letter still in Sapphire’s hand.

“I was a lawyer Before,” Sapphire suddenly breaks the silence, the words reverberate off the walls echoing all around us. We promised to never talk about our lives Before, but circumstances have changed now, “I remember one day I was in my office and my boss comes in, tells me to pack up my stuff and leave. When I begged for reasons why I was getting thrown out, he told me he had no other choice. That _they_ were standing right outside and if he refused…” 

Her sentence trailed off because she didn’t need to finish it, we both know what happened to the opposition of The Lord and his followers. After her confession, we kept ascending the stairs in silence.

“What type of law?” I ask finally.

“Contractual law. Huge snooze fest. My life is _so_ much more interesting now. Blessing in a disguise, I say,” Sapphire jokes to me. I snort out a laugh as we finally make it to the roof and open the door, the cold wind hitting us hard and goosebumps raise on my exposed skin. Sapphire walks by me to our hidden stash of cigarettes and grabs the pack and lighter from under the cement block. She offers me one, lights it for me then hers, and we go to walk to the edge to look over Salazar.

“Sapph, how long have you’ve been a part of this?” I finally ask, still staring ahead at the skyline. The dark night sky is starting to turn a lighter shade of indigo, the sky just peeking through the tall buildings, “I mean, the resistance is dead. They lost, Salazar won,”

“Does it look dead to you?” Sapphire responds holding the letter up.

The letter addressed to James Potter. The infamous Order member, whose death was announced to all of Salazar as a statement. As a warning. After the announcement of his death, The Order was said to be disbanded, forced into hiding or fleeing the country.

“Jesus Christ,” I whisper to myself taking another hit of my cigarette, “Is James Potter really alive?”

“That I don’t know. I’m just as surprised as you are,” She smashes the butt of her cigarette into the railing, “I’ve been a part of the Order since I’ve gotten to Jezebel. But I don’t know anything that goes on beyond these walls. All I do is help bring in contraband and send out information, like letters. I don’t ask questions. The less I know the better. And that goes for you too, that’s why I never told you. Sorry you got wrapped up in this,”

I turn to face her now, still leaning against the railing. Sapphire’s makeup has started to smudge, I can see the rashes and scars underneath her makeup. She’s pulled her curly hair up in a messy bun, but some ringlets have fallen out and onto her face.

“It’s ok. I don’t blame you…I just—” I stop short trying to contain my emotions. I haven’t cried since I was placed in Jezebel and I made a promise to myself that would never again, “I can’t be a part of this. So, take the letter and do what you need to do. Just don’t include me in it. And please be safe. For me,”

I squeeze her hand and she pulls me into a hug, squeezing me tightly nuzzling her head into my shoulder. We stand together like that for a while, as the sun finally rises over us. I finally push her off and finish my last hit of the cigarette.

“We should probably get downstairs and to bed before Carrow comes for us,” I warn. She nods in agreement taking one last look at the sunrise. She starts to turn around and as I butt out my cigarette the words leave my mouth before I could even stop them.

“I met a boy,” I’m not staring at her or the sunrise but at the burnt-out cigarette butt smashed into the railing of the roof.

“Yeah and so did I, it’s kind of our job here Miss Penny Lane,” Sapphire jokes to me. I breathlessly laugh, eyes still focused on the railing.

“Not a Commander, a driver. Snape’s driver,”

“Excuse me?” Now Sapphire was in my face her eyes trying to meet mine. I finally look at her and her stupid wide grin and I feel my face flush.

“Nothing happened or anything. And nothing will, I don’t even think I like him that much. He’s pretty strange,”

“Perfect for you then,”

“Ha ha. It’s nothing. I don’t know why I said anything,”

“Ok, now that I’ve had to hear you berate me about ‘being safe’ it’s my turn to do that you,” Her joking mannerism have now turned serious and she places a hand on my shoulder, still making eye-contact with me, “Don’t get involved. A little crush never hurt anyone but keep it that way. No matter how nice these men are to you, it’s a façade. They are still a part of Salazar, they hate us. You got it?”

“Yes, I got it. No need to worry. Anyways, Snape and I had a little falling out anyways so probably won’t see him or his driver for a while,”

“Want to talk about that?”

“Later. I’m fucking exhausted.”

We leave the roof and head back to the dorms to sleep.

That night I dream of those certain grey eyes that make my blood turn cold. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but don't worry things start to pick up next chapter....might be seeing some familiar faces ;) Thanks for reading! Again, feedback is always welcome!


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